Happiness??

Life is about seeking happiness. Do you agree?

Yesterday I was told by someone that life is just once and it would be such waste if we do not have a happy life. Everyone wants a happiness in their life, of course. But the most important, I think, a lifetime happiness. Such a nice word, such a beautiful future, isn't it? I totally agree with that. But one thing that I do not agree is, the word "I do not want to be with "now" you. Cuz it won't make me happy to life"

Sometimes I think, what's wrong with me? I felt that I've done everything, to change, to be better, that isn't enough? or there is no difference indeed? I thought that I have changed but in fact, the people or the person I approach, wasn't think so. On the contrary, I just still the same as I was.

There is also another sentence said to me yesterday. "You don't have a passion". I do have passion, I have a passion in culture, my region culture and also foreign culture. I love Sundanese clothes, musical instrument, history. Even, many people think it such a weird that a teenage girl would like something unusual like that. But at least, I have something that I excited about when I do it. I love collecting about culture, Japanese traditional and Korean traditional. When I saw a movie that interested me I search it for every detail. I dreamt about going there desperately, and I finally could realized it. Now my passion is to married to someone whom I've been together with for about 22 month. I've research everything related to my wedding plan. But perhaps I forgot one thing important, that is myself. I'm not yet ready for such an important life called "marriage". When my family told me that, I'm not really listening, cuz I believe he believe I'm ready, cuz he ever said so. But everyhting changes in one night, yesterday night, I realize many things, I regret many things, I'm thankful to many things, and I have new passion. To be independent, not just from my family but also from him the one I love for last 2 years. I just want to life a happiness by myself, if my happiness can also bring happiness to my surroundings, it would be great, but what I aim for just I want happiness for myself. Whether alone or together, whether married or not, whether continue study or work. I do not care. I just want to release all the burden I have, being independent, not for someone, but for myself. I hope this passion of mine can realized. In no time. Wish me Luck!